my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize