well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
