Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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