I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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