my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
