Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
