The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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