New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
