if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
