I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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