I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
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This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
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Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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