Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
