Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize