I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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