My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
