I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
