This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
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Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
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She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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