im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
