can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
