I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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