I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
areolas are like halos for boobs.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
