turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
