I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
