A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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