I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
