Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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