I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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