PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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