This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
