I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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