I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
