i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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