gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
