your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
A+ Viking dick
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
