Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
