I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I have fence marks all over my body
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
