hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
