Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
