I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize