She's JV to your varsity
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
