if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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