Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
third nipple confirmed
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
