may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
being pregnant is like rehab
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
