Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
