Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
