when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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