hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
