dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
