real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
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She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
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Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.