we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize