If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
