oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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