Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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