I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
