He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Ladies don't puke and tell
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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