Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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