I'm gonna have a badass scar
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
