before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
