How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
