Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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