I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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